Sarah-Jessica Parker Has A Horse-Dick Face, Or: The Most Pointless Day Of My Life. By Jess.

I may or may not delete this later. Because this is going to be a ranting blog post. But we'll see how this goes.
So, I suppose my day technically started at 2 a.m. That's when I fell asleep. (I'm finding it harder and harder to fall asleep without music playing, which isn't good. Cause I used to be good with sleeping schedules, and I don't wanna mess it up... I also have a job and yadda yadda yaddaaaa yeah.) Anyways, I was on the toilet the ENTIRE time in my dream, and people were just walking in and out. I was in this room and there were giant walls of glass. I was on display like a fucking animal in the zoo and people would go crazy when the animal takes a shit close to the observer. (I always got excited when the monkeys pissed on the window.) Anyway. All I can remember is that Dallas was being an asshole in some way, and I was just talkin' shit about him while I was on the toilet. It stressed me out.
Then I woke up at 8:30.
Then I'm pretty sure I stared at the computer screen (mostly facebook) until 10 or 11ish. Then I ate. Then my mom left for yoga, and my dad left for the Colonial Days in Provo, because he's doing something with his Irish band or something there. I watched some of this movie that was playing on TV called "Tamara Drewe." Then I tried to tell Hayli to tell me what to eat because I was hungry and we don't have that much food in our house. But she was no help.
And theeeen I helped Leila get her curly wig on, because Hayli and Leila were going to leave to do Irish dancing while my dad played music at Colonial Days. I didn't want to go to Colonial Days. So I stayed home by myself.
By this time, It's probably around 5:30. I watched Seinfeld, then Family Guy. Then I thought to myself, "I'm going to make myself some popcorn cause I want to eat something." So as I was making popcorn, I tried singing to myself, but I got embarrassed once I did. And then I started feeling bad about myself.
"Fuck you, Jess. You can't sing," said the bad voice in my head. :(
So then I went back, and nothing was on TV. So I went to the channels that play movies all day without commercials. They were all really crappy movies, so I settled on.... I don't remember what it's called, but Hugh Grant and Sarah-Jessica Parker were the main characters and yadda yadda. I decided on this one, because I saw "About A Boy" the other day on that same channel, and I was like, "Hey, I kind of like this movie. I was probably in a bad mood when I saw it the first time. But I like it this time." And you know, Hugh Grant was in it... so I was thinking, this movie might be good?
As I watched it, I was like, "Good God, Sarah-Jessica Parker looks like a.... horse.... skeleton.... alien. And her character is a bitch. Why does Hugh Grant love her? Hmm? Why? I don't fucking get it! His character is completely 2 dimensional!"
Then I was like, "Oh yeah, this is probably a chick movie."
And then I was like, "Dammit Hugh Grant, love ME!!!"
And then I realized, "Wait a minute, I don't like Hugh Grant all that much.... I just want a boyfriend."
And then I thought, "It's cause she's skinny, isn't it!!!!!"
And then I was like, "Goddammit I don't think I can watch the rest of this movie. This is terrible.  No more horse-skeleton and rambling ass-face for me. (Parker and Grant.)" But I watched it anyway.
And then I thought, "Wait wait. I shouldn't automatically make fun of Sarah-Jessica Parker's looks... I mean, I cut my own hair and I'm out of make up and I have this vein under my right eye and I have a million blackheads which makes my face look like a fucking orange peel."
Then my face was like this :(
And then I played with Bunny for a little bit.
And then I was like, "Shit I don't want to compare myself to Sarah-Jessica Parker!!!!! What am I thinking???"
And then I was like, "I can't believe I just watched that whole movie when I could have done something productive while I am home alone."
But I still felt bad about my face, so I looked up home-remedies to get rid of blackheads. I'm going to try the lemon juice and rosewater mix. It's supposed to work completely in 2 weeks time.
Then I got really pissed off that I was feeling bad about myself for most of my day. Cause Usually I have a great time by myself. So I decided to get everything out in a blog post. And now I'm tired so I'll probably go to bed. Cause I have work tomorrow.
Bloopy bloop.
Horse-dick-face over and out.