The Attack (Followed By A Slight, Subtle Flow Of Urine In The Pants)

"Whaaat?! Another post in the same month? For realzz?!" You may ask. The answer is, "Uh-huh."
Anyways, I'm going to talk about the Fourth of July. Well, just fireworks, I guess. People only care for the 4th because of the fireworks anyway.
So every year when we have our Driveway Of Fireworks, someone always does SOMETHING clumsy. For example, I think it was last year when I threw a firework up in the air, but I threw it too soon, and I couldn't see where it would land until it started to light up two inches away from my face. I tripped and fell backwards, and the firework continued between my legs. Jamie also threw one up in the air, and the pine tree almost caught on fire.
This year was a lil different.
First of all, it was raining. But we started out with simple sparklers, then fountains, then we ran around in the warm rain in the street barefooted and with a California Candle in hand. It was kind of scary, I tried running away from it but I couldn't let go of the damn thing.
Anyways, the finale.
The high-flying fireworks are now legal in Utah, so we bought one for our finale. It said on the packaging-- as well as the guy that sold it to us told us-- that it goes about 75 feet in the air, and lasts about 30 seconds. So, that's what we were expecting.
My dad lit the thing in the middle of the street, when no cars were passing by.
We looked up, and saw a firework explode... maybe 20 feet in the air.
Apparently, this was the devil's firework, and this was only a distraction so the mass destruction could begin.
All of the sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see some of the firework shoot out towards the lawn, bounce, and then explodes in the big, spherical way it does. (Now, keep in mind that what I'm about to say all happened in about 4 or 5 seconds.) Then I see my mom on the wet sidewalk, with her arms in the air and hips swing from side to side suddenly stop, and she crouched down and screamed. I heard the blood-curdling--yet playful-- scream as my sisters started to run up the driveway. Part of the firework launched across the street, and exploded in its spherical form and lit up my neighbor's porch. I looked at my dad that was a couple feet in front and to the right of me, crouch down so that the bit of firework missed hitting his face and exploded right next to me on the ground. As I slightly turned my head, I came to find a firework bite my cheek and explode in my face, as well as my thigh. Now I screamed, and as the fireworks boomed big and loud in my face, I peed. Just a lil bit. And then I ran, almost tripped, towards my house and behind the pine tree for cover, and my mom quickly followed. We watch the 7 seconds of remaining firework that did not shoot 70 feet in the sky, but more like 50 feet in every direction; the exploding balls probably about 2 or 3 feet in diameter. (Haha, exploding balls.)
So... we only got about 10-12 seconds of our dysfunctional finale, but if were any longer it might have done some serious damage.
So, that's how my Fourth of July went this year, folks.